


Learning How to Live

by SwordsandShields99



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, Racism, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:01:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23472910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwordsandShields99/pseuds/SwordsandShields99
Summary: Post ME3 storyFemShep/VakarianDealing with loss, love, and the hatred of others
Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian
Kudos: 30





	1. Back to Omega

Garrus looked down at his datapad, reading the news for the day. Well, he was reading but not really internalizing. He would have to read it at least 3 times to get the information into his crowded brain. Every few sentences he would glance up, hoping beyond hope, only to be crushed. Shepard wasn't waking up. 

"Mr. Vakarian?" the doctor said as she walked in. "Can I sit?", she asked pointing at the spare chair. Garrus nodded. "I need to speak with you about Commander Shepard's condition. It's been months since she was brought in. Generally, the longer a patient remains in a comma, the less likely it is that they will wake up. I'm so sorry Garrus, but we're going to change her to a level 2. She'll be moved into a more permanent facility. I can assure you she'll recieve the best care. They will continue to give her stimulant medication and tests, but we can't continue that sort of treatment here at the hospital."

Garrus looked out the window. If this was a few months back he would have been angry. He would have stood up, yelled, shouted, threw something.... but he was so tired. So tired of heartache and waiting.   
  
"I'm sorry Mr. Vakarian, truly I am. She is a hero. We would do anything to bring her back." 

Garrus looked at her face. Blank and empty. He nodded again. "Where?" 

"The best facility is located not too far from here actually. She will be transferred there sometime this week. We'll make sure you are informed as soon as we have more information. I'll send over the information about the new facility to you now," the doctor said as she clicked a few things on her omni-tool. Garrus' beeped, and he glanced at the information. The human placed her hand on his arm as she got up to leave. "I'm so sorry," she said sympathetically, and she walked away. 

She stopped in the doorway, turning back to face him, "It's ok to move on, Garrus. I'm not telling you what to do, or how to feel. I know we've been honest with you about her condition. I hate saying this, but in my professional opinion, she's never going to wake up. You've done everything you can for her. You've been a good, and loyal friend. But don't spend your entire life in a room with no one else in it. I see how you look at her. And if she felt the same way about you... I can't imagine she'd want you to spend your life here."

When Garrus didn't move or respond, she walked out. 

Garrus stood up and placed his hand over Shepard's. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

He looked around Shepard's new room. It had furnishings, and a large window where the sun was streaming through. There was an extra-net console playing soft music in the corner. There was a large fuzzy blanket on the lower half of her bed, and a few fluffy pillows where her hair had been brushed out over them. She was safe here. The security was tight, he had noted. He placed his hand over hers, one last time. "I'm sorry, Shepard. I'm.." he choked. "I'm so sorry." 

He turned around and walked out quickly, without looking back. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------

Omega was just as he remembered it. It smelled of filth and blood and puke. He could hear screaming in a dark corner somewhere nearby. The gangs were back, with different leadership. He sat at the bar, drinking slowly. He wore black armor, with his old gold archangel symbol, and blue lights. 

"Mind if I sit here?" he heard a woman say. He put his helmet on, and then turned to see a Turian looking at him with raised brow plate. 

Garrus shrugged, and looked back towards the bar. 

"So, what's a guy like you doing drinking alone in a place like this?" she laughed. He could hear her subharmonics ring in a playful sarcasm. 

"Trying not to get shot," he grumbled. 

"Omega might not be the best place for you then," she laughed. "Don't worry tough guy, I'll protect you." She motioned to the bartender for two drinks. "Here, next one's on me."

"That's not necessary," he said.

Her subharmonics growled low, and her dual-toned hum told him to shut up and take the drink.

His subharmonics rang back, and he chuckled, taking it, but setting it down in front of him. 

"Not so hard, right?" she smiled, as she bumped his shoulder with hers. 

She glanced at the gold symbol on his armor. "Archangel, huh?" 

Garrus placed a hand on his pistol.

"Easy there big guy, I think Archangel was a badass."

"Was?"

"You didn't hear? That guy died a long time ago. Heard he was Turian though. Would have liked to have met him."

Garrus smirked. "Yeah. So this symbol is well known these days, then?"

"Well, if you're in the right circles. Two circles really. The circle that took up the banner after he died, and the circle that hates his guts for ruining their lives," her subharmonics rang out with something like pride. "But no one wears it. No one can replace archangel. You must have a pretty big ego there, hot shot." 

He shrugged, still not looking up from his drink. 

"Manitia," she said.   
  
"What?" he asked.

"But my friends call me Tia. What's your name?"

"Garrus," he said gruffly. 

"Nice," she said, not hiding her intentions in her subvocals. 

"So, you're in one of those circles? The Archangel fan-club?"

She snorted, "Something like that. How are you with that gun, Garrus? If you're good, I could introduce you to the club. See if you fit. If you want to run with us, that is. You could be a giant pussy for all I know." 

"Give me something to shoot, and I'll show you," he said, his subvocals growling for the first time in a long time.

Her subharmonics hummed. "Maybe after another drink," she said, signaling for another. 

Halfway through the drink, she touched her earpiece, "I've got a potential live one here, boys. Wanna test him out? Ok, will do." She downed the rest of her drink, "time to go hot-shot." 

He thought about it. This could be a trap. But what did he have to loose? Did he even care? He stood up. Nope.

"Intel says we've got a large red sand deal going down tonight at the port-side docks. If we time it right, we can take out an entire gang tonight."

"If we time it right?" he asked.

"We've got to hit them hard, but not hard enough to where they don't call for back up. Then we send our second team to follow their runner to find the base."

"You've got that big of an operation here? Are you cops?" he asked suspiciously.

"No, we're not cops. But Archangel really woke a lot of people up. People were pissed when he died. He inspired a lot of us to stand up after that. Enough of us were good enough to form a large team."  
  
"How large?" he asked. 

"There's 30 of us," she said. They approached the docks. "Alright hot-shot, you'll be my shadow tonight. My job is to pick off stragglers. The first team is already in position, and will start firing in," she looked at her omni-tool, "3 minutes and 45 seconds. On their mark, we'll let a straggler through, and our runner will follow. Team two already knows a general location, and is standing by."

"Copy that," he said. 

They waited in silence, until they heard the first shots. Tia used her subvocals to let Garrus know that it was going according to plan, and he nodded.

Suddenly, a straggler appeared around a corner. Garrus took out his black widow, and Tia gaped at him. "Where the hell did you get that?" He looked through his sites for half of a second before pulling the trigger, and the bullet went between the man's eyes. 

Tia's subharmonics growled in suspicion. 

"I might be better than I led on," he said softly, shooting another straggler. 

She aimed at the next one, but before she could get a shot in, he was down. "Damn it," she grumbled. 

His subharmonics buzzed. He hadn't been excited in a long time. It felt good shooting the widow again. 

She touched her earpiece, "Somethings going wrong. There are more mercs there than we had anticipated. Team one is taking heavy fire, getting pinned down. We need to go assist." They saw another straggler approach the gate, "let that one through for our runner."

He nodded, following her to their location. The first team was 5 men strong, and they were pinned down good. Garrus' visor counted 20 mercs. His mandibles spread wide. Was he happy? He couldn't remember what that felt like.

Garrus stepped out from behind cover, aimed his widow, and took out 5 with head shots instantly. The team looked back in surprise, and someone cheered. One of the mercs dove behind cover, but another in a large suit with a crazy-ass shield stepped out, peering at Garrus. "Archangel! I had heard you had died! Lucky me. I had really wanted to shoot you," the man shouted out. Garrus recognized the voice. It was a sub-level red sand dealer from his Omega days. Looks like he moved up the ranks after Archangel decimated their chain of command. 

Garrus shot quickly, taking down the shields, and rolled behind cover. He took out his pistol and began shooting expertly at the main points of the suit, and he heard Tia's team begin firing at some of the mercs that found their courage and had begun to advance. By the time the leader had reached Garrus' cover, he was bleeding pretty badly. Garrus took out the blade on his omni-tool, stood up, and instantly stabbed the man through the chest. As the man went limp, Garrus aimed his pistol to his 4 o'clock, and shot through a wooden crate, and they heard a man shout out, before he fell to the ground. The boss fell to the ground, dead.

"Alright Julus," one man said, "Go hack their system, we need their supplier's information."

"Your fresh meat turned out to be more than you thought," the man said as he faced Tia. 

"Yeah, I guess so," she said.

Garrus heard the groups subharmonics rumble with distrust and suspicion. They were all Turian? It had been a long time since he had been in a group of all Turians. 

"Who are you?" the man asked.

"Just an asshole with a gun, and a past he's trying to forget."

"Yeah, we're gonna need more than that," the man said.

Garrus shrugged, "Oh well." He turned around and started walking. 

"That man said you were archangel," he heard Tia's voice. Her subvocals were ringing with a mixture of suspicion and hope.

Garrus turned his head over his shoulder. "Archangel's dead, remember?", and he walked away. 

\---------------------------------

Garrus went right back to the bar, a signaled for another drink.

"Back already?" he heard her say behind him.

He rolled his eyes, "I could say the same thing." 

She sat down on his right.

"Here's the thing. No one has a black widow. Not on Omega. Not anywhere really. So you must actually be a hot-shot. I want to believe you're Archangel. But the problem is, is that we've been really looking up to this martyr. This guy that gave 'em hell and died for the cause. You only see a Turian's back when he's dead."

"He is dead," Garrus said flatly. He took off his helmet, and took the drink from the bar tender. He heard Tia gasp loudly, her subvocals ringing in shock. She got it under control quickly, and suddenly her subvocals changed to an almost apology. He could tell she was trying not to stare at the scars, but she was failing.

"Looks like you weren't such a hot-shot at some point," she said, trying to joke and lighten the mood.

"Can't win 'em all," he said, taking another drink. "Besides, 200 on 1 isn't really a fair game. And they had a missile ship." 

Her mandibles spread wide in shock. "You are him," she whispered.

"He's dead," Garrus said, signaling the bartender for another.

"I saw how you were tonight. You wanted to help out. You wanted to get those mercs." 

He shrugged. "I just really like my Black Widow," he said, and his mandibles spreading slightly, his brow plates raised at her. 

She laughed, "Well count me jealous. Just leave some of the mercs for me next time." 

He asked the bartender to get her a drink as well. "You'll have to try and keep up Tia. You don't not take the shot with a gun like this." 

She rolled her eyes, her subharmonics growling. She took the drink. "Whatever, hot-shot. I bet you can't keep up with me at the bar." 

He growled, his subharmonics telling her she was wrong. 

She slammed the drink in front of her, and signaled for another. 


	2. Can't Move On

He was in his new room. The only belongings that were in it was his omni-tool, his data-pad, his spare armor, his widow, his pistol, a bar of soap, a towel, one bag of underarmors, tshirts, and sweat pants, a bed roll, pillow, and a thin blanket. He sat on the cot and picked up his omni-tool, checking his messages. He wrote a quick e-mail to his father. The man struggled after Garrus' mother passed. He had returned to c-sec to help rebuild the Citadel and keep himself busy at least. His sister was there as well, working at the hospital. She had sent him a message last week, and was apparently dating someone now. Garrus nearly growled thinking about it. He left his room and went down to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water. 

"Hey stranger," he hear Tia say from the table. "Glad you decided to move into the base with us. It's cheaper than the apartments, especially on a vigilante's salary."

"We get a salary?" he joked, "No one told me."

"I bet those mercs were pissed when they figured out someone hacked their accounts," she said.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Garrus said with a sly grin. 

"Uh-huh, sure. Better watch yourself, hot-shot," she grinned. She sat next to him. Garrus noticed she always sat on his left side now. When he was on the Normandy, no one seemed to even notice his scars. Now, he could tell they made everyone uncomfortable. It made him think. Most of the people on the Normandy saw his face and saw an alien. The scars didn't change their perception of him very much. Here with Turians, it was a stark contrast, and extremely noticeable. When he met their tech in-training, the poor girl nearly shouted when she saw his face. She always shied away from him now. He scared her. 

As long as Tia sat on his left, it was like having a normal conversation. 

"So, tomorrow's a big day," she said. He could hear in her subvocals that she was worried, but her voice put on a show of excitement. "Those mercs won't know what hit them." 

He rose his water like a shot, and drank. 

"You're not worried at all, are you?" she asked. 

"Nope."

"Why the hell not? It's a tall order. Lots of mercs, not a great location. Lots of variables. It's risky."

He shrugged. 

She stared at him. "You just don't care, huh? You're not exactly what I thought you'd be, Archangel."

"Yeah, well," he said, his subharmonics giving off warnings. _Don't ask. Back off._

Her subharmonics responded, vibrating softly in a submissive tone. 

"I guess you don't have to be worried when you're a hot-shot," she grinned.

"You know me," he said gruffly, "cocky and handsome."

"Are you like this about everything?" she asked. His subvocals questioned her meaning. "The whole 'don't give a fuck' attitude. I noticed you have zero personal effects to speak of."

He shrugged. "There has to be something Archangel is interested in," she said, leaning in closer. Her subharmonics growled with intent. He could smell her now. She was giving of signals left and right, and his subvocals responded slightly out of instinct. 

"No," he said. "Not really anything I'm interested in." 

Tia growled softly, and she walked away. Garrus stood a few minutes later and returned to his room. He opened the door to find Tia inside.

"You're full of shit Archangel. You don't become the galaxy's most well known vigilante for not giving a shit about anything." She unzipped her shirt slowly, until it fell to the floor. Garrus couldn't help but look at her waist. Her plates formed a perfect V, leading straight down to her tight muscles. She was fit, and he could see her hip spurs peaking out of her pants. He had to admit, she was hot. Back in his younger years, he'd have her out of those clothes in seconds. She was definitely his type.

"Maybe not," he said softly, his subvocals tight with agitation. "But things change." 

"Well," she said stepping closer to him, "There's one thing that hasn't changed hot-shot." She placed a talon at the top of his carapace, slowly unzipping his shirt. He felt her talon scrape along his carapace as it got closer to his waist and he growled out of instinct, his subharmonics ringing loudly in anticipation. "You're still a man," she whispered as she leaned in close, scraping her sharp teeth against his shoulder plates. 

He heard her subharmonics growling, heard her mandibles clicking against her face. His shirt fell to the floor, and she used her talons to dig across his waist. He was surprised she just went for it like that. But that's how Tia was. She didn't fuck around. She went after what she wanted. She hooked her leg spur around his. It was his move now, and she looked up at him, her dual-toned subvocals getting tighter and closer together, raising pitch in anticipation. He used their hooked spurs to lean her back and he growled loudly. He dragged his sharp teeth against the hide of her chest, and dug his talons into her arms. _'Good to know I haven't forgotten how to be Turian,'_ he thought. _'I've still got game.'_ Maybe it would feel good to be with a Turian again. 

She used her carapace to push him back, and she reached around his carapace, placing her hands on his long fringe. She went to place her forehead on his, but he jerked away. Shepard's face flashed in his mind, her forehead on his. 

Tia was Turian. She knew that if he didn't accept that physical act, that this was purely physical. He wasn't interested in anything more than that. And she seemed fine with it. She shrugged, and her mandibles began clicking wildly, her suharmonics telling him she was still game. She leaned forward to brush her fluttering mandibles on his cheek when she stopped quickly. Her mandibles dropped slightly in a frown, and she quickly switched to the other side of his face.

His scars. She couldn't even touch them. Couldn't look at them, even now. 

Garrus pushed her off of him, his subharmonics being extremely clear that they were done. 

"Your loss," she said softly. "I like you hot-shot. Let me know if you change your mind." She picked up her shirt, zipping it up. She stopped near the door, looking back at him. 

"Sorry, Tia," he said. But his dual-toned vocals were at such a dissonance, and his mandibles were so far down, she could tell he wasn't. 

She shrugged, "No worries, Archangel. See you in the morning." And she left. 

Garrus turned to look out the window. He felt his subharmonics rumbling in his chest, and he suddenly growled as he punched the wall hard, leaving a hole. He pictured Shepard, caressing his scarred face, his broken mandible. _'I think they're sexy,'_ he could hear her say. He pictured her leaning in, kissing his face with her soft lips. He could practically feel himself pull her head to his, touching foreheads intimately. _'I love you, Garrus Vakarian.'_

"Damn it, Shepard," he said to no one. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, the Angels woke to find Archangel had left. They went to their mission site, right on time, to find every single merc already dead. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Mr. Vakarian!" a nurse nearly shouted, "It's so good to see you! We had become very worried when we hadn't seen you in so long."

He nodded, "Hey Lea, yeah, something came up."

"Of course," she smiled, "I didn't mean to imply you should be here sir. We had hoped that you were happy. Had hoped you were safe."

She was trying so hard to be nice, but everything she said just hurt. "Thanks," he mumbled. His subvocals rang in dissonance, his mandibles low. A Turian would have recognized his pain. Would have known he didn't mean thanks.

"Of course," she simply smiled. "As always, we'll call you if her condition ever changes." He'd have to get used to being around humans again. He nodded, and walked into Shepard's room. It was quiet. A slow steady beep of a quiet machine. Her slow, steady breaths, the rise and fall of her chest. He closed the door behind him, and walked up to her bed slowly. He brought the chair close to her bed, and sat down with a huff. He looked at her face. It was empty. Nothing. He suddenly curled forward, placing his head in his hands, and shook violently with grief. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

He lost all track of time. When he finally sat up straight, his back was sore and the sun was lower in the sky, giving a golden glow to the room. His mouth was dry, and his head ached. He placed his hand over hers. "Shepard, I don't know if you can hear me. I don't know if you're even in there anymore. But I need you to listen to me." He took a deep, shaky breath. "I can't do this, Shep. I can't do this," he stopped short, choking back the lump in his throat. "I told you to come back, Shepard! Why couldn't you just listen to me for once?" He sighed, and softened his tone. "Everyone keeps telling me you're never going to come back. The doctors, our friends. They say it's time to move on."

He sighed heavily. "So you listen to me, soldier. Your boyfriend has another order for you. You need to wake up. I'm not moving on. I'm not going anywhere. I'll sit here until we're both old and die. Because this galaxy is pointless and empty without you in it. So get the lead out of your boots, and wake up. Quit taking your sweet-ass time, Shepard. Because... I love you." 

The machine beeped back, slow and steady. Her face was as empty as ever. His hand grasped hers more tightly, and he put his head down on the bed. _'Spirits help me,'_ he thought. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Garrus had taken a long day of apartment shopping with no luck. Everything was too much. Too expensive. Too much space. Too much glamour. He wanted a bunker. He wanted a spot to hang his widow and call it a day. He felt frustrated. He walked into the facility. They didn't even ask him to sign in anymore. He just walked right through security and into her room these days. Most days. 

Today though, as he approached her room, he heard a commotion. "Move the bed!" he heard a nurse shout. "I need a heart monitor and an we need a full body scan."

"Right away, doctor!" a tiny nurse said as he ran out of the room. 

Garrus rushed into the room and saw the doctor hovering over Shepard. "Those Cerberus implants... damn that's impressive."

"What's happening?" Garrus said, somehow out of breath.

"We're not sure," the doctor said. "Her heart rate is changing, as is her respiratory rate. It began dropping 10 minutes ago. She's beginning to stabilize but..." the doctor stopped short as one of the monitors began picking up some sort of activity.

"What's that?" Garrus asked. He wasn't ready to lose her. He wanted a change. He was so tired. But now that her vitals were dropping, he was scared out of his mind. He wasn't ready. 

The doctor took a flashlight and lifted Shepard's lids, and gasped. "I need all the nurses except for Bryers to leave the room. Mr. Vakarian, come over here quickly."

The doctor whispered, "You should be here."

"Spirits," he whispered. Was this it? "Don't leave, Shepard."

"No, Mr. Vakarian," the doctor said with a smile, "She might be waking up. Yours should be the first face she sees."

"What?!" he choked. The doctor placed a translator in Shepard's ear and stepped back quickly. Garrus leaned over her, his hand gently caressing her face. "Shepard? Shepard, wake up. Please. Please wake up." He brushed her hair back with his other hand softly. He saw her lids move. She was moving. His heart was shattering in a million happy pieces from that alone. Anything that wasn't empty. Finally, her eyes barely opened, and he saw her for the first time in ages. "Shepard," he whispered. "Come back to me." 

Her eyes opened more, and she weakly and slowly moved her arm, placing her hand over his. "Garrus," she choked. Her voice paper thin. 

"Hey there," he said quietly. 

"We did it, Garrus. The Reapers, I..." she started coughing.

"Shh," he said, "it's ok. I know. You did good, Shep. You did good. Everything's ok now. You're ok." 

She looked up at him and smiled weakly, "You found me." 

"Of course I did," he said, his mandibles spreading into a smile. "There's no Vakarian without Shepard."


	3. Trying

Shepard was as stubborn as always. "I've got it, Vakarian, Jesus!" she said in annoyance. 

"Alright, Shepard, alright," he said, a smile in his voice as he shook his head. 

"Ugh, just go on ahead, I'll be right there." 

"Nope, I'm waiting on your slow ass." He watched her struggle up the stairs. "Maybe we should find something with an elevator, Shepard. We can afford something better."

"What I really want, is to get the fuck off this planet and go somewhere else."

"Someday Shep," he said as he brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. For now, they needed to be close by to her physical therapy site. 

They made it to the top and Shepard was panting hard. 

"Ah, Mr. Vakarian?" a young Turian woman said as they came into view. "We spoke on the phone."

"Yes," he said, "Nice to meet you." 

"This is the apartment we'll be looking at today," she said as she pointed to a door labeled 2383. "Would you like to wait for your girlfriend to join us before we head inside?"

Even Shepard could hear Garrus' subharmonics growling. "This is my girlfriend, we can go now," he said angrily. 

"Oh. Ok," she said in a condescending tone. She opened the door and let them in. "I'll let you two look around. I'll be here if you have any questions."

It was dark in the apartment. Something Garrus would have liked back in his Omega days. But he wanted something light for Shepard. Something open, something that felt light and full of hope. This wasn't it.

"Not bad," Shepard said.

"You've spent too much time on a frigate, Shepard," he laughed. They walked back towards the front room.

"That's right, Vakarian!... You heard me, a human... I know, he could do better. She's a cripple too from the looks of it. He could have any Turian he wanted with how famous he is on Palavan right now... Yes, the scars are bad but those could be fixed... Oh Spirits, I know... Oh, I gotta go, they're coming back."

Garrus thought for sure Shepard was going to either say some kind of quick remark or punch the girl in the face. He looked down at her, ready for the show. But instead, he saw a different look on her face. Not anger, not a confident kind of cockiness that came from her years of experience and leading... just a deep sadness. 

"What do you think, Mr. Vakarian?" the woman asked.

"I think we're done here. I'll be contacting a different agency," he said coldly.

"Wait!" the woman said, but Garrus slammed the door in her face. 

"Shep?" he asked softly.

She stood, staring at the stairs, looking defeated. "Maybe we should find a place with an elevator."

"Sure. That, and less assholes."

She smirked at that. "Yes, that's preferable." 

"Come on soldier, let's go," he said holding an arm out for her. "If the Reapers can't kills us, these stairs sure as hell won't." 

"I'll take the Reapers," she said.

He growled and bit at her neck, and she laughed. "Alright, alright, stairs it is." 

They made it back to the car, and Shepard was panting again. "One more apartment left," he said softly. 

"Can we go without that agent?" 

"Your Commander Shepard. I think we can do whatever the hell we want."

"Alright big guy, lead the way."

They were there in no time, and the security guard buzzed them in. "You're Commander Shepard!" the man said. "It's an honor."

"We're here to look for an apartment."

"Of course, ma'am! There's one open on D level. Follow me," he said, opening the elevator for them. 

When they reached the level, he opened the door at the end of the hallway. "Take your time, ma'am."

They walked in, and Garrus knew this was the one. It was on the corner, so windows on two walls instead of one. The paint was light, and the room was bright with the sun setting in the distance. It wasn't too big, but enough space to move around comfortably, and store their weapons and armor. 

"Eh," he heard Shepard say.

He grabbed her waist and pulled her close. "We won't be here forever Shepard. You're going to kick therapy's ass, and then we can go anywhere in the galaxy. Look at that view, Shep." 

She smiled, letting herself be pulled into him. "Not bad," she said, looking at him and not out the window. He smirked, leaning down to press his forehead to hers. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

They signed the papers, and grabbed their bags from the car.

"Lucky we had one available today! You won't have to stay in the hotel tonight. I can help get your other bags if you'd like ma'am."

"Yes, lucky for sure. And these are all our bags, but thank you."

"That's... that's all?" he said, looking at the two suite cases and the large gun bag. 

"We're military, that's just how it is," she laughed. Civilians always thought they were crazy. 

"Ah, ok ma'am. Well, it's an honor to have you here. Please let me know if you need anything."

"We do need a good restaurant recommendation. We want to celebrate."

"Sure thing! There's a place right down the road, I'll send it to your omni-tool."

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

They sat in the waiting area while the hostess got their table in order. There were 5 other couples waiting as well. A Turian couple, a human couple, an Asari and a human, another human couple, and another Turian couple. And they all stared at Garrus and Shepard. And while Shepard and Garrus had been waiting the longest, they were the last to get a table. 

"I want to get off this planet, Garrus," Shepard said in an annoyed tone. "How does no one recognize us by now? I know we're in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere, but Jesus, we saved the damned galaxy. We've got fairly recognizable faces, you know? That should earn us some bonus points to avoid racist assholes."

"It has been kind of bad today," he agreed. He leaned forward, putting his hand over hers. "And us saving the galaxy gives us a free pass to say fuck you to whoever the hell we want, Shepard. I don't care about anything but you right now." 

She could hear the sincerity in his subharmonics, and she smiled. "When I woke up, I couldn't hear your subharmonics anymore. I was so sad, Garrus," she felt tears stinging her eyes.

He nodded, "Yeah, I could tell. You didn't react anymore, like you used to when you could hear me." It had bothered him more than he had let on. It broke his heart a little to be honest. Like she was missing a part of him. 

"My implants are repairing themselves though, did you know that?"

"No," he said, humming with hope. His subharmonics rang out, asking a question.

"Yes, I hear you," she said smiling.

They rang out again. "I know you're happy big guy, I am too. I missed you," she said with a sigh.

He tried to speak but couldn't, but his subvocals responded with an 'I missed you too', and she nodded. 

Even after Cerberus when she first gained the ability to hear subharmonics, it had taken her a long time to learn how to understand them. Thinking that she would never hear half of their conversations made him incredibly sad. Now, he felt light. He felt happier than he had in a long time.

"I'm going to the restroom. I'll be right back," she said smiling at him.

His subharmonics acknowledged, and he looked down at the menu.

She went to the back of the restaurant and a human woman stopped her. "Hey, I don't want to be rude, so I hope you'll take this the right way, but you shouldn't be with that guy."

"Excuse me?" Shepard said, her tone clearly saying back the fuck up right now. 

But the woman didn't take the hint. "I'm sorry, it's just... you shouldn't be with a Turian. They're dangerous. I mean, look at his face for crying out loud. He didn't get that face from playing nice. And they're so big. They have claws for christ's sake. It looks like he's already hurt you. Let me help you, ok? I can get you out of here." 

Shepard was shocked, but didn't stay that way for long. She felt anger bubble up in her chest. She'd had enough for one day. "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about," Shepard said through gritted teeth.

"Look, I was in an abusive relationship before, I know how you feel. But it must be so much worse for you. I mean, Turian's look like... birds or bugs or something, there's no way you wanted this. Did he force you? How did you get those injuries?" 

"I'm not in the fucking mood for this, get out of my way," Shepard warned. "He's a better person than you'll ever be, so back the fuck up, right now."

Shepard saw a Turian couple staring, and heard one whisper to another, "That human is crazy. But she's not wrong about one thing, a human-turian couple? That's so gross. Why would he want that, look how gross she is." 

"I know you're scared, but listen, I can help you," the woman said as she grabbed Shepard's arm. "Look at how hurt you are, he's clearly beating you? And those scars on your face are clearly from his claws, just let me..." the woman said, struggling to try and drag Shepard away. 

"Get your fucking hands off of me!" Shepard yelled. Her muscles were still so weak after being in a comma for so long. She hated it. If she was her old self, this wouldn't be a problem, but right now she felt herself stumbling backwards about to fall.

Suddenly, Garrus was there, towering over them, growling. He pressed his hand against her back so she didn't fall backwards. 

The woman squeaked, jumping back. "You... you.. you don't scare me Turian! You're clearly abusing her! I'm trying to help her." 

"What?!" Garrus asked in shock and anger. The woman took a step towards Shepard again. "If you touch her, we're going to have a problem," Garrus growled. 

"Is there a problem here?" a manager said, walking up slowly.

"Yes, this bitch is being an asshole," Shepard said angrily.

"Sir, this woman is clearly being abused by this Turian. I'm trying to get her out safely."

"Bullshit," Shepard said. "I was just trying to use the restroom."

"Ma'am, do you need help?" the manager asked Shepard, ignoring her previous statement. 

"I need, to use the god damned bathroom, and have dinner with my boyfriend without being harassed."

Garrus didn't know what to do. If he responded in appropriate anger, it would make the woman appear correct. The manager looked at him suspiciously, and then glanced at the scars on Shepard's face. "Did he do that to you?" the manager said, pointing at her scars. 

"No, Cerberus did that to me when the brought me back from the fucking dead."

The humans gasped, "Are you... are you Commander Shepard?" the man asked in shock. 

"Yes, and this is Spectre Vakarian. But it doesn't matter who I am. A couple should be able to enjoy a meal without being harassed at your restaurant. We will no longer be visiting this establishment. We didn't risk our lives for the galaxy just to be treated with such blatant disrespect and racism." Shepard turned around and looked at Garrus, "Ready to go?" 

He nodded, "After you." 

They sat in the car in silence for a moment. Shepard was practically shaking with anger. She thought about the man Garrus is. How protective he is... how good he is. He would never hurt her. How could they not see it? How could they not see how much they cared and loved one another? And those Turians, they all think she's too ugly. And for a split second, she felt worry in her gut. What if that's what he saw too? But was too nice to say anything. She instantly felt relief wash over her, knowing the truth. He thought she was beautiful. Just like she thought he was. 

Garrus didn't know how he felt. Angry? Hurt? Sad? They thought he was hurting her. They thought he had ripped open her face with his talons. They assumed that she would never be with him of her own free will. Maybe they were right. Maybe she'd be better off. A memory flashed in his mind.

_'Look, Shepard, I know you can find something a little closer to home.'_

_'I don't want something closer to home. I want you.'_

She wanted him. She had always wanted him. And he had always wanted her.

Shepard was suddenly kissing him, dragging her nails across his skin, and he gasped. 

"Do you remember that one time Ashley called you a dinosaur?" she said. She was laughing. Actually laughing. "Or that one time..." she said gasping, "that one time that Turian C-sec officer called me a pink... what is that animal again?" 

Garrus laughed, and mimicking her soundbites on the Citadel said, "I'm Garrus Vakarian, and that was my least favorite restaurant in the galaxy."

Shepard punched him, and laughed harder. "We... fucking saved... assholes Garrus. A galaxy full of assholes!" she said almost hysterically laughing. 

Garrus found himself laughing now too, like hers was contagious. He pulled her close, and kissed the top of her head, before starting up the car.

"Do you remember that one time," she said more seriously, "you believed in me when no one else did. And that one time, you waited for me, when everyone else gave up. And that one time, you were there when I woke up? Holding my hand?" 

He closed his eyes, swallowing back the lump in his throat. "I remember, Shep." 

"Me too," she said, humming softly. "Do you remember that one time, we weren't sure if Turians and Humans could have sex?" she said, her tone changing, "and I learned that your dick is the best thing that ever happened to me?"

He choked out an abrupt laugh. "Hmmm, I definitely seem to recall something like that, yes. And that one time, I thought humans were so soft, but it turned out your pussy is so tight," he said, nipping at her ear. "Let's get take out and eat at home. You're the only person I want to see anyways."

"Yesss!" she said with enthusiasm. "And drinks!" 

"And, then we'll need to break in that new bed," he growled. 

"And the couch," she said as she bit his neck, "and the floor." 

He grinned, his subharmonics growling. "You're perfect," he growled, gasping loudly as she bit him hard.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The further away from the restaurant they got, the better they felt. They were fucking Shepard and Vakarian. They owed the world nothing. And if there was one thing in this fucked up galaxy they were sure about, it was that Shepard and Vakarian were always meant to be. They got take out. They went up the elevator to their new apartment. They put the food on the table. And it was soon forgotten. Because they didn't make it out of their new bedroom for the rest of the night. 


	4. Let's Get Out of Here

After 2 months of therapy, Shepard was feeling more cooped up than she ever did on a ship in space. Especially now that Garrus had started working with the local police, and she was stuck at home in their apartment. 

If you would have asked Shepard where they would be in terms of their relationship after they had taken care of the Reapers when they were still on the Normandy, she wouldn't have been able to give an honest answer. Right before the last mission, Garrus had talked about finding someplace to settle down, maybe even have some kids together. And she had to admit, she liked the sound of that. But she also knew that in a high stress, low-probability of survival mission, perhaps their emotions were getting the better of them. Maybe their relationship wouldn't be the same in civilian life. 

But when she woke up, and he was there... they didn't even think about it. They got her well enough to leave, and they started searching for an apartment. Honestly, there wasn't even discussion about moving in together. No, "Hey, what do you think about moving in with me?" talk. They just did it.

He went out one day while she was still in the hospital and brought back some brochures. He handed them to her, "So you'll be out in two weeks. What do you think about these places? There's lots of stores nearby that sell levo and dextro food, so it seems pretty accommodating. We'll need a place to hang the Black Widow of course. Maybe a bigger safe that will hold both of our weapons." 

"And an extra-large Turian bed," she smiled back. 

And that was the extent of the conversation. It didn't even cross their minds... it was just the obvious thing for them. Now that Shepard had more time on her hands at home, she was starting to realize it, and it made her smile. 

Because once she woke up, and she saw his face, she was home. The Reaper threat was no more. She was free, and he was her freedom. 

Garrus would say the same thing. He meant what he said before their last mission on the Normandy. He wanted that life with her. It wasn't a maybe, it was a truth. He couldn't say exactly when his heart became completely hers, but it was, without at doubt. He would spend the rest of his life with her or die trying. 

Shepard heard the door unlock, and she tensed slightly, considering going for a weapon. And then she rolled her eyes at herself. 

"Hey," he said in that sexy voice she loved.

"Hey," she replied back nonchalantly. "How was work?"

"Fine. More paperwork. I would have hated it before. But now, I'm just happy when there's no explosions and Reapers and Collectors," he said in a low, dual-toned voice.

"No! Is my Turian going soft?" she teased.

"Never," he growled, as he picked her up, wrapping his arms around her waist and giving her the best human kiss he could. He set her down gently. "So, I know this place has been getting to us, Shepard. I was wondering if you wanted to go on a trip with me?"

"What, really?" she asked, trying to hide her excitement. Anyone else would have just heard the same old Shepard. Her deeper, confident voice. But Garrus was starting to hear beyond that. Like Shepard-Sub-Vocals.

He grinned, hearing the hidden excitement in her voice. "Yeah, my family is heading back to Palavan tomorrow, and I thought it'd be nice if I could go and help them get re-located."

Shepard's excitement wavered. "You're family," she nearly whispered.

He laughed, "I know the great Commander Shepard isn't afraid of a couple of Turians." 

"Just one," she said with a nervous chuckle.

"Well, we're both spectre's now Shepard, so we're in this together. Even if he doesn't like it," Garrus said with a grin.

"Alright, Vakarian, but if I get shot, I'm blaming you."

Garrus snorted, "Not everyone solves their disagreements with a weapon, Shepard."

"If your father is anything like you, he just might."

"Well we both know he's not, so..."

"Hmm, I'm not convinced," she said as she wrapped her arms around his waist. "But, yeah... definitely. Let's do this. I really want to meet them."

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Garrus sat on the edge of the cot, and watched Shepard sleep. She still wasn't back to her old self. She slept more than she used to, and her muscles were still so weak. Her leg injury was still bothering her, causing a small limp, and her hand on that side still didn't grip like it used to. Therapy was helping though, and he was glad she was getting back to her old self. He knew it bothered her. The transport ship rocked the cot slightly, and he watched her hair fall in front of her face. He gently tucked it behind her ear.

"Holy Spirits, Archangel?"

He heard a familiar voice at his 4 o'clock. He turned to face her. "Tia? What are you doing here?"

"I could say the same thing," she said in her typically sassy voice. "I'm going back home Archangel. It's time to help build up my own planet, instead of the never ending shit hole of Omega."

He nodded, "Good. I'm glad." He stood to go over and talk to her, not wanting to wake Shepard. As he was approaching, one of the Generals that was traveling to Palavan stood from his seat. The General saluted Garrus, "Sir." 

Garrus' subharmonics grumbled, but he saluted back. 

"Archangel... did a General just salute you? Who the hell are you?" 

Garrus didn't like these two worlds colliding. His Archangel days were trouble, and he wanted to be done with trouble. He ignored her question. "What happened to The Angels?" he asked.

"After you left, people started getting cocky. Started getting sloppy. Mistakes were made... lives were lost... we disbanded."

Garrus nodded, "Yeah, that always seems to happen on Omega."

"Aria's been looking for you. I think she misses you," Tia said with a small chuckle.

"She'll just have to keep missing me, then," Garrus snorted.

"Good call," Tia smiled, her subharmonics growling just like they used to. "So what's with your pet?" she asked, nodding towards Shepard.

His subharmonics growled a warning, "That's my girlfriend."

Tia's mandibles lowered in a frown. "You're joking." He stared at her, unmoving. "I see," she said slowly. "Listen, Archangel, I won't pretend to know you well. But that's why I don't give a fuck. I've got no stake in your race. But... I mean, you're getting older these days. You're not a kid anymore. Sure, I can see the fun in something different, just to play around with for a while. But if you're going back home... I guess what I'm trying to say is... is your plan to settle down? With her?"

Garrus rumbled warnings left and right, enough for other Turians nearby to notice his subharmonics and give them a wide-berth. But Tia's face grew bolder, her mandibles rose higher, tighter to her face. She didn't care. "She can't give you what one of your own can. Don't you want kids?"

"Tia," he said in a low voice. "I never asked for your opinion before, and I'm not asking for it now."

"I know, you didn't ask, but I have one, so there it is. Like I said, I don't give a fuck." She reached out, scraping a talon against his arm. "Just like before, Archangel. If you change your mind... I like you. I can keep it casual, or... I can handle your plates and talons, I can eat your food, I can live on your planet without a mask... and I can have your kids." 

Even if Garrus and Shepard weren't together. Being that fucking forward was not something that turned him on. He violently shook his arm to remove her talons, leaving the smallest scratch. "You know Tia, I won't mind if we never cross paths again."

"Copy that, Archangel," she said in her sarcastic tone, her subvocals not backing down, her scent still dripping with pheromones. She walked away slowly, swaying her hips. 

His subharmonics were slightly out of control with agitation as he sat back down on the cot next to Shepard. He listened closely to her breathing. "I know you're awake Shep, you can stop faking."

"I'd rather keep my eyes closed, thanks," she said back.

He looked at her, hoping she wasn't mad, and saw a smile on her face.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"That bitch be crazy," she laughed. "I'll give her one thing, she's got balls. Didn't back down one bit. Even with your subharmonics going crazy like that. Hell, even I'd consider backing down if you talked to me like that."

Garrus growled in a playful tone, "You'd never back down."

She opened her eyes, "Yeah, you're right." Shepard sat up slowly. "She's right about one thing. I didn't need a mask on Menae. I could have gotten away without one on Palavan before."

"The doctors were clear, Shep. You're not at your best right now. You've got to wear it, ok? Your body isn't filtering out radiation as good as it normally does."

She nodded, "Yeah, I know. It just makes me appear weak. Not how I had hoped to meet your family." 

"You won't need it inside," he said. 

"Yeah," she said, clearly still a bit bothered. "Garrus," she said softly, so only he could hear, "You're not going to regret this later, are you?"

He looked at her, his subvocals portraying his confusion.

"When you get older... are you wasting your time with me?"

"What?" he asked, hurt in his voice.

"Do you want to live on Palavan? Do you want kids of your own? Will you look back with regrets?"

"Shepard," he said. "I could ask you the same questions, but I already know the answer." He placed his hand on her cheek softly. "I didn't regret joining you on the Normandy. I didn't regret following you into a suicide mission... twice. And I will never, ever regret being by your side. Wherever that leads us, is fine with me."

She smiled at him, "Me too." 

He pressed his forehead to hers, and closed his eyes. When he opened them, and turned back on the cot, Tia was gone. Good riddance. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shepard took her mask off and walked out of the transport ship. 

"Welcome to Palavan, Shepard," Garrus said, his subharmonics ringing with pride. "It's not what it used to be... but it's still here thanks to you." 

"And you," she added quickly. 

"I'm going to go call for a cab. I'll be right back," he said, placing his bag down next to hers. He rounded a corner, and was out of sight.

"So," a cold voice said behind Shepard, "You've got a weird thing for Turians do you?"

Shepard turned to see the woman Garrus had been speaking with on the transport ship. "Just one," Shepard nearly growled. 

The woman flexed her talons, her mandibles low and tight to her face, her subharmonics at an insane dissonance. Many humans wouldn't know what that meant. But Shepard wasn't just any human. And honestly, Shepard was just looking for an excuse, and now she had one. Shepard reached out quickly, grabbing the woman's mandible and yanking hard, while also kicking her leg at the side of the woman's spur, just like Garrus had taught her so long ago. She used the Turian's height and weight to flip her, and slam her down to the ground. As she did, the woman reached out with her talons, scratching at Shepard's mask, and piercing a hole through it. Shepard heard the gush of air as the wind was knocked out of the woman's chest. She started coughing, fighting for air.

Garrus was suddenly beside them, laughing. "Damn Tia, you don't recognize her do you? This is Commander Shepard. Commander, this is Tia, a vigilante from Omega." 

"Nice to meet you," Shepard said with a grin. "Oh, and Tia?" she said as she picked up her bag. "Back off." The Turian glared at Shepard, her subharmonics growling in anger. 

Garrus and Shepard walked away, and Garrus put his arm around her waist. Shepard didn't realize that it was a slightly territorial display, but she liked it. Suddenly, she felt pain in her stomach and started to feel nauseous. "Crap," she said under her breath, taking out a shot. She was wheezing slightly, her arms shaking. She wasn't used to combat anymore. She would have a lot of training she'd need to do soon. 

"Shep?" Garrus asked, facing her. He grazed his talons across her broken mask. "God damn it," he said gruffly. Shepard smiled at his human curse. She was rubbing off on him. 

She held up the shot, "That's why I have these. No worries Big Guy."

He took the shot from her. "Let me," he said softly as he inserted into her skin roughly. 

Shepard was glad that the station was so empty. It was just the two of them. She instantly started to feel better. "Thanks big guy," she said quietly.

"We'll get you a new mask. They sell them here at the station." They walked towards the shop. "Sorry about her. I'm glad you put her on her ass though."

"Back from your Omega days, huh?"

"Ah... yeah about that Shepard. Well, maybe we should talk about this some other time."

She turned to face him, "Just spit it out Vakarian," she said in her best soldier voice.

"I may have had a second round of Omega days. There was a month... after you were transferred to long term care... I may have picked up the Archangel gig again," he said looking away. "Shep, I... I didn't want to leave you." 

He felt her hand on his mandible... it softly grazed at his scars. "I'm glad you didn't stay cooped up in a hospital room for all that time, Garrus. You had every right to a life. I'm just glad you're safe. It would have been awful waking up to find you'd gotten hurt down there." Shepard smiled at him sweetly. It was uncharacteristic, but Garrus wasn't complaining. Her smile suddenly returned to the Shepard smile he was used to. "I take it fancy-plates over there made a pass at you.

He was glad Turians couldn't blush. "Uh.. I uh.."

Suddenly, Shepard's hand dropped from his face, and she looked away. "Listen big guy, I was dead, or might as well have been. It was months. Almost a year. I understand if you... if you moved on. If you..."

He grabbed her suddenly, pulling her close. "She tried... I almost," he shook his head, and she watched his fringe as his head lowered. "I didn't, Shep. I couldn't. And I came back to you the next day. Everyone said you were never coming back Shepard. I... I'm glad you followed my orders. You just took your sweet time about it."

"Whatever you did or didn't do, I'm glad your with me now. I won't lie to you, I'm glad you didn't. I might have had to go back and finish the job back there with miss fancy-plates," she smirked. 

They found the right mask and got in line. "So... Omega, huh? Went right back? I leave you alone for a few minutes, and you're back to getting yourself in trouble, huh?"

"Heh, yeah," he said in his deep voice. "More than a few minutes Shep. Felt like eternity. But you're right, I jumped right back in. I'm predictable. Apparently, after Archangel died, a group took up the mantle. A whole mini-rebellion of sorts right there on Omega. The Angels, they called themselves. It was cute."

"Aww, you had a fan club? Where do I sign up?" she teased. 

"What can I say, Shepard. If you're good, you're good." 

She rolled her eyes, but squeezed his arm. 


	5. Family

Garrus was impressed. His father greeted Shepard with respect. She did save the galaxy after all... saved Palavan. "It's an honor to meet you, Commander."

"It's an honor to meet you as well," Shepard said shaking his hand. 

Sol was tall, and even Shepard could tell she was beautiful. She walked in, and her subharmonics growled low in anger. "Took you long enough," she huffed.

"I'm sorry, Sol," Garrus said softly. "I missed you."

She broke down easily enough. The I miss you did the trick, and suddenly her subharmonics rang with excitement, her mandibles spreading into a smile as she ran to him. "You asshole," she said. 

"Yeah, I know," he replied. 

Sol suddenly looked at Shepard. "So you're the one dragging him throughout the galaxy to the Reapers?"

"That's me," Shepard said instantly with a smile.

Garrus was nervous, but Shepard was smiling.

"Thanks for keeping him alive," Sol said.

"It's probably the other way around, but you're welcome," Shepard chuckled. 

"I'm so glad to finally meet you," she said, her mandibles twitching gently against her cheeks. 

"Me too," Shepard said sweetly. Garrus had never been able to describe Shepard's tone as sweetly but for a few times. It always took him by surprise. And he felt happy seeing the two of them together, safe and happy. 

"How's your leg?" Jane asked. Garrus hadn't realized she knew about Sol's injury.

"Much better than before, thank you. I have so much to catch you up on, Jane! Now, before he can stop us, let me show you some embarrassing pics of Garrus as a kid," Sol said mischievously. Jane? Garrus was confused. Why was Sol talking to Shepard as if she knew her already? Sol was always friendly, but not like this. 

Shepard let Sol pull her by the hand out of the room, as she turned to Garrus saying, "She's my favorite." Garrus just stared at her, mandibles wide in shock. 

"Sol really likes the Commander," his father said.

"I mean, everyone likes Commander Shepard, but she' acting as if they've already met," Garrus responded.

"You don't know?" his father asked. "Jane wrote to Sol back after you two took out the Collector base." 

Garrus was floored. "What?!"

His father nodded. "Yes, she wrote to us letting us know that you would be returning to Palavan, letting us know how you led one of the two teams during the mission. She thanked us for our patience, and explained that you were not allowed to tell us of your mission due to its classified nature. It explained why you weren't able to contact us very much at the time. She spoke very highly of you. As I understand it, she also wrote a separate letter to Sol. She asked how your mother was doing, and asked for her case file number. I'm not sure why, but I have a guess. I had wanted to ask you about that as well son. Since your mother was in the hospital, the hospital received monthly checks from an unknown sender paying for your mother's medical bills. That was you, wasn't it?"

Garrus looked away, but his subharmonics gave him away. "I sent every paycheck I ever got. And it didn't make a difference." 

"Yes it did, Garrus." Garrus looked at his father questioningly. "We couldn't afford the bills, son. We were about to decline the treatment when the first payment came through. That treatment gave your mother a whole year, Garrus. Your payments, plus the Commander's donation paid for the treatment in full. And I'll assume the Collector samples that contributed to the research came from you as well?"

Garrus looked away, his mandibles low, his subharmonics full of pain mixed with relief. Garrus' father lightly grabbed Garrus' shoulder. "I can't thank you enough, son, for giving me more time with her. And that new research will help so many other Turians." 

Garrus tried to internalize all of this new information. He felt overwhelmed. All this time, he thought that none of it had mattered. That he was a bad son. That he didn't visit her enough, and the money he sent hadn't made a difference. And apparently Shepard had helped too, without ever bringing it up. Without ever burdening him with it during their missions. 

"On the good days, she'd talk about you. I told her how you were off saving the galaxy, and she'd smile and I'd hear her buzzing with pride. She knew. That's your mother for you, though. She always knew."

Garrus was reaching his emotional limit, and his father knew it. Garrus heard his father's subharmonics. He just wanted Garrus to know, needed him to know. Garrus' subharmonics wrung back in appreciation mixed with grief. 

"Follow me," his father said, leading him to a small office. He took out the Turian brandy and gave Garrus a glass.

"I'm glad you're visiting Garrus. It's good to have you here, helping us move in." The older Turian took a deep gulp from his brandy. "So, I never thought my son would become a Spectre." Garrus had known this talk was coming. He puffed up his chest, ready for his defense. "Or a vigilante for that matter," his father said, peering up at him with raised brow plates. 

"Wh...what?" Garrus asked shocked. He had never told his family about Archangel, or Omga. He had wanted them safe. Very few people knew his identity. 

"Please, son, I'm a cop. A damned good one at that. I was.... I was worried about you." Garrus was even more shocked to hear his father say that. Turians don't speak about their feelings. Their subharmonics are better equipped for that, speaking about it in words felt awkward and forced. So his father must really, truly want him to hear it. This was the strangest night, and Garrus felt way out of his element. "So, naturally, I went digging. Not many are as good with a gun as you are, Garrus. And Archangel's activities always seem to line up when you disappear. Or when she does," he said nodding towards the other room where Shepard was. "So, on that hunch, I dug until a found one small security vid. It wasn't much to go on, but I know my son."

Garrus looked down. Turian's don't lie. They own their shit. "Yeah," Garrus said, his subharmonics ringing softly in a submissive tone.

Sheprad and Sol stood at the doorway, and Shepard stared at Garrus. She had never, not once, heard Garrus have a 'submissive' tone with his subvocals. 

"So... a vigilante and a spectre, two of your least favorite things," Garrus said quietly. "I never meant to disappoint you, dad." Suddenly, all of Garrus' planned defenses and arguments were gone. The man in front of him and been through a lot. He had lost his wife. Lost his home. Lost damn near everything. It's not that Garrus felt guilty. He believed in what he had done. He truly did. But he didn't want to cause his father more pain. 

The older Turian looked down and shook his head. "You know, Garrus, not too long ago I would have been furious with you. But after everything I've seen... after everything that's happened. Well... I'm proud of you. More than you know. Your mother always was, you know. And I have been too in my own way. But," the older man stood still. He stopped talking, but his subharmonics said everything he needed loud and clear. 

Garrus heard it, and nodded, his own subharmonics responding in kind. 

Garrus had saved the galaxy. Saved their planet. Saved their lives. As far as his father was concerned, he was a spirits-damned hero. And he respected the hell out of the young man in front of him. 

Garrus couldn't believe it. He looked over at Shepard, who had the smallest smile on her face. Sol looked over at her, and whispered quietly, "Oh, sorry Shepard. You can't hear it, but they're having a moment," Sol said, kindly to Shepard but with the smallest teasing tone directed towards the males.

"She can hear it," Garrus said softly. 

Sol's subharmonics rang out in surprise and questioned. 

"Yeah," Shepard said to Sol. "Subharmonic hearing capabilities implant," she said pointing to her ear. "A little perk for dying, and coming back to life." 

Sol's mandible dropped in shock, "O..oh!" she said in surprise. 

Garrus' father's subharmonics growled somewhere between impressed and surprised. And Garrus' sounded with pride, making Shepard smile. 

"Well, I'm sorry Commander, our levo food is awful at best around here," he said, throwing a packet at her to catch. 

"If it's not a military ration bar, then it'll be perfect, sir," she said with a mock salute. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Sol had taken Shepard out back after dinner to show her some common Turian flowers and vegetables in the garden. 

Garrus and his father sat in silence by the fire, when his father suddenly spoke up.

"Are you sure?" he asked. 

Garrus subharmonics were instant, loud and clear with the answer. 

His father nodded. "I have somethings I have to say." Garrus growled with anticipated anger, but his father held up his hand. "Hear me out, boy. I realize, that if you feel the way that I did about your mother, than your responsibilities and honor lie with her. But mine, Garrus... mine lie with you." Garrus eye plate rose, questioning. "Commander Shepard is a remarkable human... a remarkable person. It is not a matter of her worth, or her person. I fear for both of you. For a difficult future ahead. For a limiting future ahead. Surely you two have already ran into this? Problems... issues that arise. Either physically, or from the outside world. People are hateful. They are foolish and ignorant. And as your father, I would hope for you a happy future Garrus. One with a mate who can truly understand you and your culture, who can share in the burdens and joys of being Turian. One with children if that's what you wish." Garrus looked at his father. The man seemed so much older than he had realized, his voice shaky as he looked into the fire. "Your mother and I... we were blessed. I want that for you Garrus, because..." he stopped short, his subvocals ringing with a mixture of joy and memory and a bittersweet pain. 

"Dad," Garrus said softly. His subharmonics buzzed with excitement, joy and love, and his father nodded. "She's it, dad. The rest is all.... we'll figure it out." 

His father nodded, and got up quickly from his chair. "Ok," he said confidently.

"Ok?" Garrus asked.

"I trust you. I believe in you. And if she is what you want, and is what makes you happy... what makes you into the man you want to be..." his subharmonics shook with approval. 

Garrus' mandibles spread wide, and the two men shook hands. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

"Where are we going, Garrus?" she asked with a laugh, as he sped up the cruiser.

"There's a spot I want to show you. I heard by some miracle, it wasn't destroyed. But we have to get there in... 5 minutes or we miss it."

"Well, damn Vakarian, step on it!" she teased. 

Suddenly, he landed the car. "Alright, we have to walk a bit, let's go for it," he said hurrying. 

Shepard jumped out of the car and followed after him. They made it through a grouping of strange trees, until they found themselves on a cliff over looking a rocky valley below. The sun as setting. "It's beautiful," Shepard whispered.

"Just wait," Garrus said, his subharmonics buzzing with anticipation and excitement... and was that a hint of nervousness? 

All of a sudden, when the sun lowered to the horizon, it shone through a rocky formation Shepard hadn't noticed at first. The rocks were thin and transparent, and beautifully colored, casting a rainbow of colors throughout the entire valley. "Holy shit!" Shepard exclaimed. 

"Sunset Valley," he said, as he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close to him. He turned to her, "Shepard, I hope I'm doing this right. I watched some vids, but... well." He suddenly got down on one knee, and pulled out a box. 

"I felt like you needed some time to recover, to just rest. To not have to make any decisions, or worry about the fate of the galaxy... your own life. But I've known for a long time Shepard, that I've wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. Jane, will you bond with me?" 

She reached out to him, pulling him back up on his feet. She placed her hands on his mandibles softly, and reached up on her toes to reach his face, and he leaned down to meet her half way. "I've known a long time too, Garrus. I'll never need any time to figure that out. A break from the Reapers, hell yeah. Time to figure us out? Nope. You're it for me Garrus. You know I love you," she said. His mind flashed back to when she said that to him before. Right before she ripped herself from his arms and ran towards death. "And I always will." She pressed her forehead against his, and he tried to keep his subharmonics at a reasonable level as they rang out with joy and love for her. 

He pulled away and took out the ring from the box, putting it on her finger. She smiled up at him, pulling him back in for another Turian kiss. She dug her fingernails into the sensitive skin beneath his fringe and he groaned louder than he had meant to. "I love you, Shepard," he said gruffly as he dragged his teeth across the skin of her collar bone, using his tongue to send wet kisses up her neck. 

"I love you, so much Garrus," she said back as she grabbed hard at his waist, pressing her forehead to his again. The sun dipped behind the hills, and they slowly walked back to the car. He held her hand tightly, and his subharmonics buzzed continuously. And if she could produce them, hers would have been as well. But he could see the happiness etched in her smile and her eyes whenever he looked at her.

Once they were in the car, he started the engine. Then he leaned over, and pulled at her chin with his finger and thumb, pressing his forehead to hers. "You'll never be alone, Jane." 

She smiled, and whispered back, "Never." 


	6. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW

Garrus had begun to love Shepard's hair. As she laid on his chest, he would run his talons through it, and he'd watch as she became more and more relaxed, her lips curling into a tired smile. He remembered a time when human hair grossed him out, back in his early C-sec days. It felt weird, and it looked weird. He thought about Shepard's hair... about how he could pull on it when they were in the shower together, exposing her neck to him as he pushed her against the wall... about how it brushed against his thighs when she was riding him and she leaned her head back far, breathing heavily and moaning his name... how it curtained her face as she leaned down over him to press her forehead to his. It had gotten much longer while she was in her comma, and she never cut it since. He liked it long. She was so beautiful. 

He felt her run her fingers along his waist plates, pulling him from his thoughts. She moved her fingers down to trace his already shifting pelvic plates. She hummed low, "What were you thinking about?"

His subharmonics rumbled in his chest, "How beautiful you are."

He felt her soft lips smile against his carapace. "Hmmm... I was just thinking about you too."

"Oh yeah? What about? My stunning good looks?" he said with slight sarcasm. 

She shifted to look up at him. "Well first, I was thinking about your eyes. They're piercing and beautiful. Then I thought about your mouth plates, and your face when you're looking at me like you could devour me." She heard him growl, and she knew he was making that very face. "Then, I thought about your hands, and how they wrap around mine when you're inside me." His subharmonics grew louder, and she felt them rumbling in his chest. "How they feel around my waist when I'm on top of you."

She felt his seams separating, could feel his cock starting to come through. "You like it when I talk dirty, Vakarian?" He growled low, and she felt his talons dig into her arms. Most of their time together so far was filled with near-death, passion filled encounters. Relief flooding their senses, pent up stress being released. But tonight was different. After their time in the valley, they went to the hotel and made love like always. With an incredible sense of relief and an enormous amount of passion. But now, they felt relaxed. Still excited, but not rushed at all. She rolled so that she was more on top of him, and she reached up to softly bite at his neck. The right side of his neck. Without a second thought. He felt an overwhelming sense of love for her in that moment. No one else had been there for him after Omega, not like she was. No one else looked at his face and just saw him. No one else would bite and kiss at the right side of his face instead of the left as if there was no difference.

He placed his large hands on her small waist, his fingers wrapping around her, squeezing tightly. She placed her hands over his, and sighed. Once on the the citadel, he had seen a human look at his hands as if they were something from a horror film. Shepard lightly glided her fingers over his hands, and wrapped her fingers through his, reverently. He slowly reached up, and pushed up her shirt, revealing her tight abs. He traced his talons over the sleek, soft lines of her, the curve of her hips, the line down the center of her stomach where her muscles met. He had remembered seeing his first naked human, thinking that it was not his thing, but now, tracing the soft curves of her, his hands fitting perfectly in the bend of her hips, he groaned loudly. It was perfect, beautiful... his. She straddled him, slightly moving her hips against his pelvic plates, as he held her waist. It was so erotic, and he felt his cock slide further out of his seam, causing her to rub against it, and she moaned softly.

Making love to a human was softer, slower. It wasn't as rough, but it also wasn't as demanding. With a Turian, there were rules to be followed, steps to be taken. Bite here, scratch there, push now, pull later. Now that he was used to it, it felt like a natural rhythm. A gradual give and take, rather than an abrupt one. A slow pulse, a steady building up, so that it was enough to drive you crazy until you couldn't hold back anymore, until you couldn't see straight. The process wasn't as rough, but the release was more intense. And while at first, he wasn't sure if he liked it as much, now he knows he would never trade it in a million years. The sex they had had early that evening was just like that. A slow, steady rhythm, and an incredibly forceful release, their bodies tangled together in mind-numbing bliss. He looked up at her, seeing the most mischievously sexy expression on her face, and knew this second round would build up faster than the first.

She looked down at him, her hair falling around her face, and she hoped that he thought it was beautiful. She remembered a time when she first joined the Alliance, when she would have never considered a relationship with a Turian. She had made Turian friends easily, even found a certain camaraderie with them. She would have considered a relationship with an Asari, sure. But the hard plates and talons of a Turian didn't scream 'good time in bed'. She remembered one of her Turian buddies in the early days told her that all humans looked like they were missing a layer of skin, and that their tiny fingers were like slimy tentacles. She thought then, that the two species were just not compatible. It made sense. Biologically, they really weren't compatible at all, so why would their bodies be attracted to one another. She looked down at Garrus' hands on her waist and shuddered. She couldn't say when, but at some point they went from being Turian hands to being some of the sexiest things she had ever seen. Sometimes, she'd find herself daydreaming about just his hands. Other days, she'd find herself thinking about his piercing eyes, or the sexy rumble of his subharmonics and his deep dual-toned voice. Somewhere along the way, she had picked up the Turian affinity for waists. The way his plates formed a v down his abdomen, and the way his waist was so tight, his muscles rippling down to his pelvic plates. She'd be the first to admit that the first time she held his cock, while it looked attractive, the self-lubricating shaft threw her for a loop. At this point, she was greatly appreciating it, as it glided across her folds. She knew women who had dildos with ridges resembling the ridges of Garrus' cock. The way they felt inside of her gave her chills. And with Garrus being so tall at just under 7 feet, his cock was proportionately larger than any human she had ever met. Even now, it still took her a long time to warm up and be ready for him. She looked at his face plates, how they moved when she did something he liked. How something so tough could be so soft at the same time. How his mandibles spread apart, and his mouth opened slightly at her touch. It was like nothing any human could do, and it was so beautiful, that she reached down and caressed his face. She could tell that it felt good to him when she scraped her nails along his mandibles. He groaned softly as she did, his dual-toned voice creating such a beautiful dissonance. 

"You like it when I talk dirty, Vakarian?" she asked him again, as he had seemed to loose himself in her touches. He growled low, his subharmonics telling her yes. She reached down underneath herself, and slowly pumped at his hardening length, and he growled. She leaned down to moan in his ear and then whispered, "Spirits, Garrus, your cock is so big." She pumped again, her thumb brushing against the tip. When she did, she felt him gasp slightly. "Do you like that big guy?" she said in a deep voice, before she used her thumb on his tip again. He grunted, grabbing at her waist tighter. She used her finger tips to roll over his ridges roughly, and he groaned loudly. She slipped off to the side, and his eyes opened wide, his subharmonics ringing in protests. "Show me what you like big guy," she said in her sexiest voice, as her hand hovered over his dick. He looked at her questioningly, and she heard the nervousness in his subharmonics, but he growled and grabbed her hand anyway. He squeezed his hand around hers, and they started pumping on his cock together. He took her other hand, and brought it down to press her fingers against his ridges in small circles. That was new. She hadn't known to do that before, and she smiled. As soon as she started rubbing in small circles against his ridges, his eyes shut tightly, and he grunted. He brought her hand down to the lowest part of his cock and pulled up, bringing his bulge out of his seam, and he moaned louder than he normally did like that. She had thought that would have hurt him, but he must be aroused enough now. His other hand increased their pace. She brought her other hand down over his bulge, squeezing slightly, and brought it slowly up so that she could rub his ridges again. He shouted out, jumping up towards her, reaching his hands out to grab her waist and pull her back on top of him. He buried his face in her neck, biting at her, hissing slightly through his teeth. 

Garrus remembered their first time together. How Shepard had tried pulling at his cock to get it out from his seam faster. Spirits had that hurt bad. But just now, when he was so incredibly aroused, and the only thing left inside was his bulge, the slightest pain and pressure of pulling it out felt incredible. Pain, pressure, and then a wave of relief and release. Spirits, she was a quick learner. When she went back to rubbing circles onto his ridges, he lost control. He needed her. Spirits, he fucking needed her. 

Since this was round two, she knew she was ready for him. Normally, she had never been into dirty talk. She had never bothered with anyone else. But she found herself wanting to do more with him. "Garrus," she moaned as she leaned down to his ear, "Garrus... I need you," she whined. She felt his whole body tense when he heard her, felt his subharmonics rumbling through her core. She took that as a good sign. "I need you inside of me," she said as she took his cock, lining him up at her entrance. She pushed down slightly, felt him stretching her already. She took deep breaths to relax herself, and slowly pushed down on him further. "Nggh.. Garrus! You're so fucking big. You're.. so... fucking... ahh!!" she shouted as she pushed down on him fully. She felt his talons dig into her skin, and he growled out in pleasure. She pulled up, and went down hard again. "Fuck, Garrus! Fuck!" she moaned as she started riding him. 

"Holy shit, Shepard," he growled, his eyes staring into hers like he could devour her whole. "Shit.." he rose his hips up into her, penetrating her more deeply. He scraped his talons into her skin, drawing blood. "Fuck," he said starting to release her, but she grabbed his hands and held them in place.

"Don't you dare," she growled. "Scratch me, Garrus. I need... to feel... your talons... on my skin... on my waist..." she said between deep thrusts. He groaned, shutting his eyes tight as she rode him hard, but opened them quickly, looking at her hesitantly. His hands still only lightly resting on her waist. 

"I said," she grabbed his fingers, digging them into her skin, "Take me... ravish me..." she glided his talons up her sides, leaving pink marks in their wake, "Fuck!" she shouted as he reached her ribs. They had never been rough before. Normally, he wouldn't like it, and he was pretty sure she wouldn't either. But tonight was different. Tonight was.... he lost his train of thought as she took a talon to her mouth, biting it as she moaned. His instincts took over upon the sight of it. He flipped her over, pinning her to the bed, the talons that she had to her mouth suddenly at her throat. He held her there, as he penetrated her, pounding against her. His other hand scraping up and down her sides with his talons. 

"Fuck, Garrus... yes!" she cried out. He squeezed ever so slightly at her throat. "Fuck me harder, Garrus!" she shouted. And he did. Harder, and faster. "Harder!" she shouted out again. She reached up, and dug her nails hard into his waist.

His hips bucked into her and he shouted as he started pounding into her harder, "Agh!"

She used the hands that were on his waist to push against him hard, so that he was on his knees. She pushed him back again and he was on his back. She straddled him with her back to him, and he watched as her ass slammed down on him. The view of her ass and waist drove him wild. His subharmonics were deafening. His talons dug into her backside and waist, and he lifted his hips, entering her more deeply.

Shepard screamed at that, and then shouted, "Yes! Just like that!" He did it again, eliciting more loud moans from her. "Yes! Yes, fuck.... oh Garrus," she moaned. He heard the wet *thwump* sound as his bulge entered her. His bulge was larger than the rest of him, and she screamed out. "Oh god!" He forced his ridges to extend out into her, and she screamed his name, over and over. He knew that this was her favorite part. When his ridges ground against her walls, the texture pushing her over the edge, his pelvic plates pressing against her clit. He pushed her forward, so that she was on her hands and knees, and he was on top of her, without ever leaving her. He pulled on her waist so that she slid down to the edge of the bed, and he let himself slide off of it, leaning down over top of her, his feet on the floor. He pounded into her once, and she shouted out. He felt how tight she was at this angle, her walls squeezing against his cock, and he groaned. He watched as her fists grabbed the sheets of the bed while she moaned beneath him. He leaned down, making sure not to put too much of his body weight on her back, and reached his hands up to grab hers. She laced her fingers through his, and he leaned down to kiss her neck. He pumped into her hard. He felt her soft lips on his fingers, kissing them gently. "Bite me," she said softly, "bite me Garrus." 

He nibbled at her neck, scraping his teeth across her skin. "Harder!" she said loudly. He pumped into her faster, and as hard as he could, and put slightly more pressure behind his bites. 

"I want you to bite me Garrus," she said again. 

He chuckled. He hadn't told her yet. "Not yet, Jane." His subharmonics rang out, letting her know it was important, and she moaned as she nodded. He took his talons, scraping hard into her skin. "Fuck!" she cried out. He picked her up by the waist and spun her around, and climbed on top of her, kissing her face and her lips, letting his mandibles flutter across her skin with affection. He saw her smile, a soft laugh coming from her beautiful lips. 

"Do anything you want to me big guy," she breathed out, biting into his neck softly. 

"Anything, huh?" he grunted as he slid inside of her again. 

She moaned as he entered her. He suddenly took both of her legs and threw them above his shoulder. At this point, he only wanted one thing. He might regret his choice later, but at this moment, he wanted to pound into her with everything he had. He was getting so close, and he needed to come in her. He held on to her legs and pushed into her again, all the way, until he felt the slight *pop* as his bulge entered her. He entered her a few times slowly, as he felt her adjust to him. He reached down, placing a talon gently on her clit, and rammed into her slow and hard. She rose her arms above her head grasping at the sheets, her back arched off the bed, and he watched her face as she came undone, screaming his name. "Garrus! Oh God, you feel so good... your dick... oh god... fuck... right there... yes! right there! Oh god, Garrus, don't stop... don't stop... ohhhh! Garrus!!" and she climaxed. 

He had never seen her like this before. He could usually get her moaning and screaming by the end of things, and she wasn't afraid to tell him what she wanted. But she had never moaned and whined like this, never writhed beneath him, never talked dirty like this. He loved that she was still full of surprises. Even after all this time together, there was so much they could finally look forward to.

He grunted and groaned as he felt her walls clamp down around him, his fully erect ridges pushing against her quivering walls. He felt his bulge get squeezed, and he lost it. He pounded into her with everything he had, fully sheathing himself within her with each thrust. She was so wet, that he felt his cock become soaked with her. He felt his cock begin to twitch and throb within her. Shepard was panting and breathing hard, but when she felt him throbbing inside of her she started to moan again. "Oh Garrus... that feels so good," he sighed. He didn't slow down, he couldn't. If anything, he went faster. "Oh god, I feel your cock throbbing inside me. Your fill me so perfectly.... fuck, Garrus," she sighed more. Spirits, it really did fill her perfectly. His cock was completely surrounded, the pressure was so perfect. His tip kept hitting the end of her, and he grunted with each thrust. 

"Shepard!" he called out, as he fell over the edge. He reached out, his talons scrapping up her side, all the way to her throat, his other hand on her waist, with his arms gripping her legs. He came more powerfully than he ever had before. Each wave of pleasure pulled a deep groan from him, until he eventually collapsed beside her. He laid on the bed, struggling to breath and feeling dizzy and light headed. He had never felt like this before. "Fuck, Shep," he panted, his subharmonics portraying his shock and pleasure. 

He looked over to find her smiling at him. "I think I've figured out a few new tricks for you, Mr. Vakarian," she said in a playful voice, her fingertips lightly tracing along the lines of his cock, and he shuddered. 

"Jane," he whispered, reaching out, pulling her onto his chest, his legs still half off the bed but he didn't have the strength to move. 

He suddenly smelled her blood, and his eyes shot open. It was a smell he was far too familiar with. He glanced down at her, and noticed his talon marks all along her sides, and even small ones on her neck. He saw the blood on her waist. 

He sat up slowly, "Are you alright?" he asked. She looked down to figure out what he was looking at.

"Oh. Yeah, of course big guy! Thanks for indulging me," she said as she lightly kissed his mandible. 

"You liked that?" he growled. 

"Very much," she growled back.

"Alight, but next time, I don't want to draw blood. That's too far for me, ok?"

"Yes, sir!" she mock saluted. She could tell when he was being serious, and she didn't want to make him uncomfortable. "Is that why you wouldn't bite my neck?"

He laughed, "No. I won't bite your neck. Not yet. That's for our bonding night. I forgot to tell you about that. We'll have to talk about the different customs and figure out what we want to do. But that night, I'll bite you. Hard. And give you my bond mark. And you'll give me yours."

She stared at him for a moment, and he was worried she didn't like the idea. And then, she slowly smiled, "Turians are so badass." 

He smiled back, his subharmonics growling as he pulled her close to touch foreheads, "Damn right." 

They got re-positioned on the bed and got under the covers. Garrus pulled Shepard up onto his carapace, and she rested her head against him gently. He started running his talons through her hair again.

"Shepard, do you remember when we first met?"

"Of course," she said.

"I wasn't so sure about joining up with you. But within the first day, I knew you were the real deal. You were a great leader, a hell of a shot, and had the balls to do what it took to get the job done, but the conscious to look out for civilians and innocents. It was like you were too good to be true. But that's just who you are."

She smiled, "Sounds like someone else I know." She jabbed his side playfully. "Garrus, that's the exact way I felt about you. From day one."

"I'm glad you believed in me Shepard, glad you took a chance on me."

She smiled, "I didn't take a chance Garrus. I knew."

He purred and kissed the top of her head. 

"Garrus, do you remember when I found you on Omega?" He nodded. "I asked you how you got all those mercs mad, and you joked around saying, 'it wasn't easy. I reallly had to work at it." 

"Hah, yeah." 

"I fell for you that day."

"The day I got my ass handed to me?"

"Yup," she laughed. "Everyone that I used to trust didn't have my back after two years of being dead. You were in rough shape, with huge problems of your own. And instead of telling me to fuck off, you made a typical Vakarian joke, and was at my side in a heartbeat. No question about it, not a second thought. You were just there. Like always. God Garrus, I felt so lost then. I didn't know who I was anymore. Didn't know who I could trust. But as soon as I saw your face, I knew who I could trust. It was always you." He caressed her face, and purred happily. "And that's just who you are. That's how you treat your friends. And since we've been together, it's only gotten better. I feel so lucky to be with you, Garrus." 

Part of why Garrus and Shepard worked was because Shepard was tough. Turians weren't comfortable talking about their emotions. Their subharmonics did the trick, there was no need to talk about it. Talking about it felt forced, felt fake. So when humans did it, it made his skin crawl. After spending time on the Normandy, he had become more comfortable with verbalizing his emotions. Especially when it mattered most. Especially with the team. And Shepard was tough. She didn't talk about her emotions either. But her actions were loud and clear. The way it should be. Hearing her talk so openly about her emotions... instead of making his skin crawl, it made his heart flutter in his chest. Because she was his mate. She was his. Her emotions belonged to him, and his to her. It took him by surprise to feel this way. 

"Watching you come back from the dead certainly helped push me in your direction Shepard. You were a miracle. And just like always, you put your trust in me. Even while I was failing miserably. Even when I was at my worst. You never doubted me, not once. I nearly got us killed, and you took me as your number two on the following missions. I got half my face blown off, and then you started developing feelings for me. Asked me to 'blow off steam' with you. When everyone else in the world doubted me, you believed in me the most. When everyone else in the world saw something ugly, you saw something you wanted." She brushed her fingers lightly along his mandible, feeling the deep groves of his scars. "I won't lie to you though, watching you jump on to a crate, zero fear, and shoot down that missile ship with a collector particle beam, and then instantly taking out a sniper... Spirits that was... I had feelings for you, but that sealed the deal Shep."

She laughed, "Of course it was the weapons. God, I felt like a badass that day."

"And that's saying something Shep, 'cause you're a badass every day."

She propped herself up to look at him. "I... I didn't think it was possible to..." she tried. 

He held her cheek, "To love someone this much?" She nodded. "To connect with someone so much?" She nodded again. "To have a best friend, and then have that person turn out to be your soul mate?" He saw a tear reach her eye as she nodded. He knew he was saying exactly what she was trying to say, because it's what he felt. 

"Yep," she said with a smile. "You're proving my point, Vakarian."  
  
"What can I say, Shep... I'm good," he said in that deep, sexy voice she loved. 

She rested her head back on his carapace. "After your performance this evening, I'd rate you as more than just 'good'." 

She felt his laugh rumble through his chest, and she loved the sound of it. "Right back at ya, Shep." 


	7. Bad Dreams

_Garrus stared at the door. It had been too long. It wasn't that he hadn't been doing important things. Destroying a Collector Base to save the entire galaxy wasn't pointless, wasn't selfish. But the woman that raised him was dying, and he hadn't been here. Hadn't spent as much time as he would have liked with her while she still recognized his face. The last time he had seen her, it had been a bad day for her. She was confused, and angry. Right before he left, she had smiled and told him to have a good day at school, even though he was in his mid-twenties, and on his way to go back to the Normandy. At least she had smiled, just once that day._

_He took a deep breath and opened the door. She sat in a chair, staring out the window. He sat down slowly next to her. He made sure to approach on her right, so the undamaged part of his face was closest to her. She didn't look at him as he sat down, didn't seem to notice he was there. "Mom?" he said softly, as he rested his hand on her arm. She startled and looked at him._

_"Garrus?" she asked. He sighed with relief. Thank the Spirits, she recognized him._

_"Hi mom," he said trying to sound happy and soft._

_"I was wondering when you'd stop by. I... I think..." her face screwed up, trying to remember something, "I think the milk is almost bad," she smiled as she looked back out the window._

_"I'll take care of that mom. I missed you," he said, brushing his thumb across her skin._

_"That's nice," she said. Suddenly, her face turned blank and her breathing sounded off._

_"Mom?" he asked, with no response. He stood up, and slowly knelt down in front of her. "Mom?" he asked again, rubbing her hand gently._

_She looked at him with a smile that quickly turned to horror. "Who are you? Spirits, what happened to your face?"_

_He slightly covered up his scars with his other hand. "Mom, it's me, Garrus. I'm ok, don't worry."_

_"Garrus? That's my son's name," she said, her voice starting to calm._

_"Mom, it's me," he said, trying to still sound and look happy for her._

_"Oh, Garrus, it's you honey," she said as her posture started to droop. "I'm so tired."_

_"Would you like to rest?" he asked softly._

_"Yes. Would you help me? I haven't been able to walk for some time now."_

_He nodded, and leaned forward, picking up her small body in his arms, and bringing her over to the bed._

_"Garrus, is that you?" she asked as he carried her, reaching her hand up to touch his face._

_He looked down at her, "I'm here mom. I've got you."_

_"You're a good boy, Garrus," she said as she patted his mandible._

_"You're a good mom," he said with a smile._

_She smiled back at him, "Awe," she said as she continued to pat his face gently._

_He laid her down in the bed, and covered her up._

_"I love you, mom," he said, making sure his subharmonics were loud enough for her to hear._

_"I love you too, Garrus. Everything will be alright," she said, her eyes looking clearer than before. "I'm proud of you."_

_He felt his heart clench. Suddenly, her eyes went cold, and her subharmonics screamed out. "Who are you? Why am I in this bed? Where's Castis? Castis! Castis, help me!" She tried to claw at him with her talons, but he held her hands gently._

_Castis ran into the room. "Dad," Garrus whispered. Castis sat on the bed, and his subharmonics rumbled for her to hear, and she calmed._

_"I thought you left me, Castis. Why would you do that?"_

_"Never," the older Turian said, as he held her other hand. "Garrus and I are here to take care of you."_

_"Garrus? Who is that, dear?"_

Garrus' eyes shot open. That nightmare was real, he had lived it. The memory was so painful, that it haunted him still. He was panting, and clutching at the sheets of the bed. His vision focused, and he focused in on the sleeping woman beside him. Focused in on the small freckles on her nose, the slow and steady rise and fall of her chest. She grounded him. He noticed her brow furrowing, her mouth in a small frown. 

_\---------------------------------------------------------------_

_Shepard held Garrus' lifeless body. She had watched as he took a missile directly to the face. He laid in a pool of blue blood. She rolled him over closer to her, but half of his face was gone. A giant hole where his eye and colony marking should be, the surrounding skin cracked around the edges of the hole like a porcelain doll. Suddenly, blood stared pouring from it, his flesh falling off of his plates. "Garrus, no!" she said, and he suddenly gasped for air._

_"Shepard," he said, coughing up blood. "You were too late."_

_"I'll save you, I've got you big guy," she cried. Blue blood covered her hands, her arms, her hair, her face... it was everywhere, and she couldn't stop it._

_He tried talking, but there was too much blood. His mandible fell off, and he started to crumble in her hands._

_She felt his hand on her cheek, and then watched it fall to the ground._

_\-----------------------------------------------------------------_

Garrus reached out, touched her cheek lightly. She was having a nightmare too. "Shepard," he whispered. Her eyes shot open, and she gasped for air.

"Garrus!" she said, her voice sounding strangled. 

"Bad dream?" he asked softly, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. 

"Garrus," she whispered, and he watched a tear roll down her cheek. She put her hand on his face, and traced the scars along his mandible. 

"Hey," he said in a deep voice, "it's ok. Come here," he said as he reached his hand behind her head, and pulled her close to press his forehead to hers. She continued tracing the lines of his scars. He knew that she had a reoccurring nightmare of what happened on Omega. "Do they bother you, Shep?" he asked, feeling self conscious. "I could get the treatment if they do." 

She opened her eyes and looked at him. "If you wanted that, I'd support you, and wouldn't blame you... but," she sighed and looked at him with a small smile, "Back after it first happened, I felt responsible... like I had failed you. You got hurt, and I'd never want you to get hurt. But then, when you walked through those doors like a champ, like you were completely fine after hours of surgery, up on your feet and ready to go, that helped a lot. You were a fucking badass. A hero who could take the worst hit and get back up swinging harder than ever. That's so you," she chuckled softly. "And ever since then, I've loved them. Finding you on Omega, and the days that followed... that's when you started to become mine. These," she said tracing, brushing her thumb over his scars, "these are part of our history together. They're part of what make you mine. No one else in the galaxy can look at them and see what I do. See our history and our story written on our faces. My scars don't bother you, and your scars don't bother me. I love every single thing about you." She looked at his face more carefully. "Why were you up? Did you have a bad dream?"

Normally, Garrus would have deflected. Tried to go back to sleep. But it was late, and the nightmare combined with what she had just said to him made him feel emotional. He told her about the memory. About his mother's last days, and how he wished that she could be there now, to see him bond with Shepard. 

"Tell me about her," Shepard whispered as she traced lines up and down his arm, and nuzzled into his neck. 

He smiled, kissing the top of her head. "She would have liked you. Did I ever tell you about the time she caught me trying to sneak into a shooting range?" 


End file.
